'Tis The Season.
They say there’s a War on Christmas.
To be fair, I’ve never encountered anyone who acted offended at the Christmas things there is supposed to be a war on. I’m also not sure who ‘they’ are.
As far as I can tell, there are two moods present during The Holidays:
1. Child-like wonder
2. Nihilistic awakening to the impotence of mankind.
As a child, I remember loving Christmas.
As an adult, I’m indifferent at best, with a slight disdain, like Clint Eastwood sitting on his porch in Gran Torino.
I HAVE noticed an uptick in Hollywood movies that portray Santa as a drunk, foul-mouthed, bitter old man with a body count higher than an 80’s action flick. Usually there’s a climactic battle against drug dealers/government agents/international criminals (I guess that’s a kind of war… ). Mrs Claus is always nice, though.
These high-octane, irreverent spectacles of Holiday Heresy will probably become a yearly staple of the Industrial Entertainment Complex, at least for the immediate future. They’re entertaining enough.They probably make money [all movies seem to just make money]. I can’t wait to see which action star they’ll put in a fat suit next.
When Santa says ‘shit’ and ‘motherfucker’, I giggle like school girl. When he shoots a muthafucka like it ain’t no thing, then calmly eats a cookie and says something pithy like “You’re on the Naughty List!”, I snort-laugh like a slack-jawed yokel.
At one point, there’s usually a ‘message’ about love/joy/belief and/or some kid gets saved or gets a gift. I usually fast forward those parts.
I believe that IF Santa Claus was a real person, he’d either be a jaded old man incapable of feeling anything, let alone joy and wonder…
OR a complicit participant in the consumer-centric wealth game. He’d be sponsored by Coca-Cola and UPS. And DARPA. And the CIA.
Other than that, I’m sure he’s a perfectly fine fellow. Mrs Claus seems nice.
